Ken Gullette's Internal Fighting Arts

The Best Goal for an Internal Martial Artist - Finding Your Center

Most religions and philosophies teach harmony -- or, at least they pretend to teach it.

Finding your "center" is an important part of the internal arts. Some of the finest masters of Tai Chi, Bagua, and Hsing-I such as Chen Fake, Sun Lu Tang, Liu Bin and others were known not only for their martial skill, but also for their fine character. It's a trait of people who reach the highest level of the internal arts.

When you look at the people around you day-to-day, you can see that most people desperately want it--need it--and try to find it--but life's challenges, along with the attitudes of other people get in the way. Instead of balancing you, the events and news during a day can unbalance you mentally.

Look at what's happening in Washington these days. There is a complete lack of cooperation and goodwill between the two parties as the American people, other nations, and the environment are facing the most major challenges in our lifetimes. It seems that our politicians, particularly the party that recently lost the election, have abandoned any pretense of solving these problems in an atmosphere of compromise. In any endeavor that involves people, whether it's at home, at work, or even having fun on a team, compromise is crucial for success.

At work, egos and insecurities cause people to behave in poisonous ways--holding grudges, not speaking, not accepting ideas or change. Upper management will forget that the experts working under them actually have valuable things to offer. The result is an unhappy work environment, with people living for the weekend and dreading Monday. Productivity suffers.

A life of harmony and balance is misunderstood by many, who believe you must be passive and soft. This isn't true. To be balanced and in harmony, you take control of the emotions and reactions that you present to yourself and the people around you.

The steps of finding balance and harmony in your life include:

*** Seeking harmony inside yourself. It's impossible to develop harmony around you if you are tormented or troubled inside. Talk about problems you have with a counselor or a trusted advisor. Try to forgive yourself for past mistakes and understand that you must be your own best friend. Relax, do chi kung exercises or tai chi to find balance inside. You've been through a lot in your life. Look yourself in the mirror and smile. Then, you can take that smile out to the world. You can change the entire direction of your life today if you want. It takes effort. 

*** Seeking harmony with others. You know what to do, but it takes hard work to do it. Make a point to be a positive force in the lives of everyone you meet today. Put a smile on the face of a cashier at the store. Let your boss or your employees know that their success is your goal. Let the people in other departments that you work with know that your goal is to help them succeed. But you have to mean it and act on it. Words without the actions to back them up are meaningless. On the highway, don't get angry if other drivers act crazy. Understand that they have lost balance, and if anything, feel sorry for them. At home, make your spouse or family feel wanted, loved, and safe.

*** Seeking harmony with nature. We can't achieve this goal if we continue to pollute our air, our landfills, our water, and if we continue to consume at the rate we have in the past. Take action to install energy-efficient light bulbs in your home, recycle, and do what you can to use less fossil fuel and energy. Donate to a group that works to solve environmental problems. And don't believe the energy industry-funded organizations that are trying to tell you there's no problem.

To live in harmony, you aren't a sap who is weak and passive. You must be assertive in dealing with people. Action is required. Be proactive. Shine your light. Don't accept negativity. When faced with it, try to understand why the other person is acting this way, and let them know, very calmly but assertively, that their success and happiness is your goal.

The myth of Eastern philosophy is that you "do nothing and accomplish everything." When faced with violence, even Taoists monks defended themselves. Turning the other cheek works sometimes, but action is required most of the time. Finding balance and harmony within yourself, and living it with others, takes a lot of work before it becomes your natural way of doing things.

It can start with chi kung exercises, learning to put part of your mind on your dan t'ien, relax the body and mind, and then recapture this feeling in moments of tension or crisis. It can start with a smile, and a helpful demeanor. It can start with the generous words, "What can I do for you today? How can I help?"

And then you need to help. This means when discussing politics, you seek compromise and understand that your opinion is not the only valid one. When thinking of religion, you must stop judging other people or looking at other beliefs as wrong and immoral. Seek to understand that basic morality is behind every religion or philosophy. People who cling to fundamentalist religions often have a psychological need for rules, and for the feeling that something or some being is in control of what seems to be a scary world and an uncertain afterlife. They need to belong, and their church, even if its rules seem more like a cult, fills a psychological need in their lives. They lose balance and harmony when they see everyone else as misguided and wrong, but this loss of balance is due to something that has happened in their lives that even they don't understand.

When dealing with an angry or hurtful person, understand that something in their life has caused him or her to lash out. Don't take abuse, but make sure the person understands that you are not going to be one more person who is going to let them down or hurt them.

When a tense moment or situation arises, relax your body and put part of your mind on your Dan T'ien, just as you do during chi kung. Calm your mind. You will find your center, and in doing so, be able to deal with the moment with a clear mind.

Remember -- remain centered at all times. That is the goal.

--by Ken Gullette